skyler.

so yesterday was a very rough day. a girl that was my age and went to my school who had some classes with me died. she was on her way home from band camp (on saturday) and they were driving on I-94 and a semi tried getting back on the freeway from the shoulder and they ran right into the back of the semi. her little sister had to get stitches and is fine. her mom is still in the hospital, but will be fine. and well, as for skyler, she wasnt so fortunate. she had blood in her lungs. they took her to U of M for her care and saturday night after i heard about the accident, steph and i were getting texts saying her blood pressure was regulating and she was getting her color back. well, then i get a text on sunday when i was tallying votes for metro's TRL and she ended up not making it. she is/was brain dead and they were donating her organs so the last i heard, they were waiting for recipients. so she wasnt legally dead. but the viewing in wednesday from 5-8 and the funeral is thursday at 11.

now, i didnt really know skyler that well, but she was in my honors english classes my freshman and sophomore year. she was also stage crew for little shop. and she was really close with my friend emily, they were cousins. and i guess they spent a lot of time together. and she was also in marching band. and because im in the music department, it hurts when a lot of people i know are so broken from this. it makes me become broken. my heart is just aching for her family.

and although i didnt know much about skyler, i knew that she had huge dreams and she was going to follow them. i knew she would have. she had so much drive and determination.

so from this whole thing, even though it sucks, i know that everything is going to be okay. everyone dies, they do. its not fun, but its reality. we just dont know when. we could die in 70 years, or in five minutes. we really dont know. but all i know is that i want my life to be lived to the fullest. it sounds cliche, but im being 100% serious. i want to glorify god with my life. yeah, im not always good at it, at all. i suck at it a lot, but im still going to strive. i just want to love god with my life, through my action and speech. and i dont want to waste anymore time.

misc.

i forgot how good the movie 'catch and release' is.



-i would like a haircut. and red hair. and my nose pierced. but, thats not new.
-i want to go to the beach at least one more time before school starts.
-i am taking segment 2 monday, tuesday, and wednesday. then i can get my license anytime after that. but i might wait another month or two so i can get even better at driving.

that is all.

grace marked your heart.

i dont know what to write about today, so im just going to put a few little notes and pictures.

im so tired, all of the time. i get a full eight hours of sleep(at least) and im still tired. ugh!

but as of right now, im just carrying on with the rest of my summer(only two or three more weeks until i start school again ]: ) hanging out with friends, riding my bike around where i used to hang out when i was in sixth grade, reading, loving jesus, etc. still thinking about there to serve. well, enjoy.

we serve to show his love.

we hear it all of the time: "find somewhere to serve!"

here my problem: i dont know where to serve. i dont know where i belong. i want to serve so bad, but i dont know where to serve. i dont know where my gift lies. i dont know what my special talent is. everyone tells me i have so much to offer, but whenever i try somewhere to see if thats where im supposed to serve, it doesnt feel right. i've tried fuel, but it didnt seem good for me. i tried metrokids, it didnt seem right for me. i did kids ministry in colombia, and i thought it would be a good place for me, but when i checked it out at metro, i felt so awkward. i dont know. i just wish i knew where i was supposed to serve. and im praying about it and thinking about it all of the time, so its not like im not making an effort. ugh.

hello, how are you? like your shoes, love your hair.

im hanging out with kelsey today. i havent hung out with her in years, i miss her. im really excited. we are gonna go swimming (:

tomorrow(saturday) is my beach day. im going with stephanie, katie, gibby and maybe nate. im really excited! i'll be sure to being the sunscreen and apply it more than once. i dont care how pale i am, i dont want to get skin cancer. plus, five sunburns increases your chances of melanoma 75%. i'm past five sunburns. i gotta be careful.

"refuse to be average. let your heart soar as high as it will."
-a.w. tozer.

123.

all i want to do lately:

-spend time with god.
-go to the beach.
-listen to music, mainly acoustic or mixes(make me one).
-eat.
-go to the beach.
-go swimming.
-go for a walk.
-go to the beach.
-do some yoga.
-cook/bake.
-go to the beach.
-drive around.
-crochet.
-go to the beach.
-sit under the stars.
-read.
-have a picnic.
-go to the beach.

and a few other things.
i really want to plan a beach day.
and pack a picnic when we go.
it would be amazing.

oh,

did i mention i can crochet now?

oh, and i tried watching the meteor shower...it wasnt very good. i saw like, maybe 10. i was kind of disappointed. but still, tonight was pretty perfect. at first, i was irritated from people walking in my house without notice and acting like they owned the place, but once i started talking to stephanie and katie and sitting on my porch with them, everything was beautiful. we just talked and laughed and ate fake oreos and it was great. then we just layed on the blanket waiting for the wimpy meteors to show up, and it was still great. it just felt peaceful and so perfect, if there ever was such a thing. well, its 1:10am. the meteor shower is supposed to get good around 4 or 5am, but im not staying up all night.

goodnight.

and i saw deep inside a love that was true.

i took this when we went to the top of the mountain
(yes, the same mountain that ian and ashley got engaged on).

so much is going on in my head right now, but i think im going to share something that god is really putting on my heart at this point in time.

so in colombia, we were always going - we rarely ever stopped for a break. no rest for the weary i guess, but it was awesome. anyway, that meant that sometimes i wanted to be cranky and negative and i wanted to scream. but i didnt. why? because god really showed me my attitude. yep, my attitude. the very same thing that i have wanted to change forever, but never have. i very rarely took an honest look at myself and realized how negative of a person i was.

god really showed me that my attitude is mine to change. its my decision if im going look at the glass as half full, or half empty. and for about 99% of the trip, i looked at it as half full. now, sometimes i had to force myself to do so, but it made such a huge difference. there were times where i just wanted to be by myself, to sleep, to scream, to give someone a knuckle sandwich(im just being truthful), where i just wanted to not serve. but i thought to myself consistently, "would i rather have another team member have an attitude with me or would i want them to be encouraging?" the obvious answer was to have them be encouraging. so thats what i had to be. i needed to be uplifting and just keep going with a smile on my face. and even when i felt like i didnt want to do something, i did it anyway. and when i did that, i found myself having so much fun. i had so much joy. i was just serving the lord and it was beautiful.

i had so much peace and joy in my heart when on this trip, and i still do. i can honestly say that i have never had so much love just pouring into and out of me. i feel like i could just keep smiling. and thats what i plan on doing, smiling, a lot. smiling is such a gift, and a gift we should share. we do it all of the time, but i dont think we ever realize how much it can impact a person. it impacts not only the person receiving the smile, but also the one giving it. i realized this, too, in colombia. when i was upset, i would smile. i would smile because i wanted the people of colombia to be encouraged and to know that there is a love so much bigger than we could ever know. i wanted them to know that there was hope in this crazy, messed up world that we live in. and by me smiling at them to encourage them, i became encouraged because i reminded myself that there is a reason to smile. and that reason came to this earth and was spit on and made fun of and hated and died on a cross.

always, always, always smile more.
you never know who you could impact.
just sayin.

first picture: view of bogota. second picture: "20 minute" walk to the slums which turned out to be about an hour and a half walk. third picture: everyone doing the cuban shuffle when doing a presentation outside of exito. fourth picture: very last night at darrens church with people from the church and my team. fifth picture: the "stage" that was actually a rooftop that was across the street from a school that we later performed in!


if anyone has the books dateable and/or captivating, i would like to borrow them.